An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his Doctor and his Lawyer, both church members, to come to his home. When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As they entered the room, the preacher held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed. The preacher grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled and stared at the ceiling. For a time, no one said anything.
Both the Doctor and Lawyer were touched and flattered that the old preacher would ask them to be with him during his final moment. They were also puzzled; the preacher had never given them any indication that he particularly liked either of them.
They both remembered his many long, uncomfortable sermons about greed, covetousness and their avaricious behavior that made them squirm in their seats. Finally, the doctor said, "Preacher, why did you ask the two of us to come?" The old preacher mustered up some strength, then said weakly, "Jesus died between two thieves..... and that's how I want to go."
At a Wednesday evening church meeting a very wealthy man rose to give his testimony.
"I'm a millionaire," he said, "and I attribute it all to the rich blessings of God in my life. I can still remember the turning point in my faith, like it was yesterday:
I had just earned my first dollar and I went to a church meeting that night. The speaker was a missionary who told about his work. I knew that I only had a dollar bill and had to either give it all to God's work or nothing at all. So at that moment I decided to give my whole dollar to God. I believe that God blessed that decision, and that is why I am a rich man today."
As he finished it was clear that everyone had been moved by this man's story. But, as he took his seat, a little old lady sitting in the same pew leaned over and said: "Wonderful story! I dare you to do it again!"
A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his parishioners. All went well until he came to one house. It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he had knocked several times.
Finally, he took out his card, wrote on the back "Revelation 3:20 " and stuck it in the door. The next day, as he was counting the offering he found his card in the collection plate. Below his message was notation "Genesis 3:10."
Revelation 3:20 reads: "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If any man hear my voice, and opens the door, I will come in to him, and will dine with him, and he with me. Genesis 3:10 reads: "And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, for I was naked."
A church called in a contractor to do a number of jobs. one of which was to re-paint the steeple. Scaffollding was errected and the contractor went up to paint it, starting at the top and working his way down. When he had got about half way down, he realised he wasn't going to have enough paint to finish the job. Too lazy to go all the way down for just a little more paint, he duly mixed some thinners with what he had left. Once he had finished painting, he descended to the ground. and was standing by his van cleaning up when he glanced at his handiwork. Shocked to discover that the thinned paint had turned out a different colour, he cried out "Oh no, what shall I do?". A voice from heaven replied "Repaint! And do not thin again".
